Alone...And Christ With Me: Guest Post by Natalie Revesz

When I walked off the elevator and onto Seven North for the first time as the incoming RA, Natalie's was the only face I truly recognized. She has since been a steadfast support for me, forever championing the Spirit of Jesus on our floor. She is a preacher and evangelist if I ever knew one, steeped in the Scriptures, a woman of power and truth and conviction. It is an honor to share her words with you today:
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About 2 weeks before COVID-19 was declared a pandemic, I realized (through a seemingly unrelated incident) that I have an incredibly deep fear of being alone. I have always felt that I need to touch and feel others close to me, I need to hear kind words from my friends, I need someone to walk with me through each day and look into my eyes if I am ever to be known. The Wednesday before spring break, it became evident that this fear actually sprung from distrust of God, and that it needed to be dealt with--swiftly. I felt it coming, God was going to renovate my heart somehow this break, which He tends to do when life slows down in between semesters or over a weekend away from school. Little did I know, He was halting my life completely and calling me to face my fear directly.

It’s obvious that COVID-19 is an incredibly isolating disease due to the drastic measures required to stop its transmission. As cancellations, stay at home orders and shelter-in-places continued to be enacted across the country the past few weeks, one by one my friends disappeared, moved out, and went home. I was left on campus with less than ten people that I know enough to talk to, and strict guidelines to only ever interact with them from six feet away. Before me was a dark valley of fear that I was being catapulted into, whether or not I was ready.

In these days when my faith feels more like a season of Fear Factor than victorious assurance of eternal blessing and earthly redemption, I’m learning that theoretical answers to my problems/questions are not God’s primary desire for me. I don’t need to just cognitively assert that I’m not alone, I need to walk through loneliness and learn that He is there in it with me. I need to learn through my suffering a portion of loneliness that Christ felt on this earth. It is dirty, messy, firsthand experience that will teach me the most, and already on this path I have encountered some surprising realities.

The truth is that loneliness is not the same thing as being alone. Loneliness is a feeling, and you can feel it in a room brimming with people just as much as you can feel it while being sequestered away somewhere. It is a result of not feeling known or understood, a feeling I know well. Being alone, on the other hand, is the reality of actually being isolated as an individual entity. So while Christians may at times feel loneliness, we are never actually completely alone. In your most isolated moment as a believer on this earth, you are united with Christ through the Holy Spirit dwelling inside of you. You have direct access to the God of all comfort (2 Corinthians 1), who sees and hears and walks with you. He will never leave or forsake His people (Deuteronomy 31:6). Not only that, but He intends to make His dwelling place with men permanently in His heavenly city, at the end of all things when our reconciliation with Him is complete (Revelation 21:3-5!). This hope of relationship with God shines from eternity into today, and transcends all the pain, confusion, and loneliness of COVID-19.

This has been God’s personal work in me in this situation (very much still in progress), but the global dimensions are impossible to ignore. In a glaring paradox (which feels like an understatement, it's that baffling to me), the world is united by loneliness. Everywhere people are facing the same thing: not feeling known, disconnection from community, seldom looked in the eyes except through a screen. It’s  a different kind of pandemic, and I’m sure it is acutely amplifying the fears of many people in this world like me. It is this very moment that God’s presence is most needed in our world. As the church, we have the message that no one is ever alone, that the greatest, farthest reaching Love that ever existed is available to everyone. So while I still need God to renovate my heart in this area drastically, I have truth that I can hold onto, and I can boldly proclaim it to a dying world.

“Do not be afraid. I will save you. I have called you by name—you are mine. When you pass through deep waters, I will be with you; your troubles will not overwhelm you. When you pass through fire, you will not be burned; the hard trials that come will not hurt you. For I am the Lord, your God. … because you are precious to me and because I love you and give you honor, do not be afraid—I am with you!” Isaiah 43:1-5