selah: an invitation

"So how are you really doing?" She embraces me and my mess with such readiness. I am both blessed and intimidated.

"I--I don't know how to answer that question." Images of my friends, far away having college adventures, and my long hours behind a retail counter, flood my mind. "I just feel stuck."

She ponders a moment. "Are you stuck or just paused?"

Now there's a question. I know the right answer--but I also know how I feel.

Paused. The concept brings up another thought, one I've pondered in my reading of the Psalms throughout the week. Just one word.

Selah.

The syllables flow graceful-mysterious over my tongue. I used to skip over this word, this favorite of the Psalmist's, figured it wasn't too important. Typical Westerner, skipping over the invitation to rest. Because that's what it means. Though interpetations are uncertain, I learned from my friend who chose to name her daughter Selah that, at least the name, means "To pause in wonder of God." Every time it's used, it invites me to stop a moment and ponder the awesomeness of God.

But you, O LORD, are a shield about me, my glory, and the lifter of my head. I cried aloud to the LORD, and he answered me from his holy hill.

...selah. (Psalm 3:4)

Salvation belongs to the LORD; your blessings be on your people!

...selah. (Psalm 3:8)

Arise, O LORD! Let not man prevail; let the nations be judged before you! Put them in fear, O LORD! Let the nations know that they are but men!

...selah. (Psalm 9:20)

Lift up your heads, O gates! And be lifted up, O ancient doors, that the King of glory may come in. Who is this King of glory? The LORD, strong and mighty, the LORD, mighty in battle! Lift up your heads, O gates! And left them up, O ancient doors, that the KIng of glory may come in. WHo is this King of glory? The LORD of hosts, he is the King of glory!

...selah. (Psalm 24:7-10)

The Psalmist knew the value of meditation, of stopping, truly, to soak in the glory of God.

I have missed it.

For someone who feels she has a gaping whole in her life plan, I'm awfully busy. My days spill over. I come screeching-late to a meeting with my counselor, confess I failed this week--again. Failed to say no. Failed to stop pleasing everybody. Failed to slow down. And I wonder, why am I doing this? What am I running from?

Emptiness. Boredom. The discomfort of the gap in my life--of feeling stuck.

"I'm paused right now." My friend fills in my thoughtful silence. "And I'm enjoying it." She says she knows that soon, sooner than she thinks, life will fill again, God will call her to the next thing, and it will be good. But so is the pause.

Since that conversation, I have been challenged, challenged to live the selah life, challenged to live in wonder of God. He does not change. He is always limitless, always faithful, always loving, and always, always so very in control. So, dear brothers and sisters, whether in this moment you are adventuring forward or waiting in the wilderness, I challenge you to this one thing:

Selah.